How to Play Hard to Get? A 8 Step Easy Guide

Humans love attention. We always want to feel appreciated, loved and wanted by others around us, it’s a fact.

Getting a small dose of attention on a daily basis, being pampered by others, feeling like a ray of sunshine, throwing some sass here and there? Count me in.

Attention can be like an addiction, we can’t help but keep asking for more and how do we make sure a small dose of it keeps coming our way on a daily basis? By playing hard to get.

I know, I know you’re probably thinking what in the Netflix series script is this. But you’re still on this page, reading on, so just stick with me for a little while and it’ll start to make sense. Probably.

Playing hard to get in easy words means creating a sense of uncertainty in the mind of your date, partner, crush or someone you want to be with. This usually creates unclarity in your partner’s head which eventually leads them to form different opinions about you.

Now you’re probably wondering, Isn’t unclarity something you should avoid in a relationship? How is this uncertainty going to help you? Is playing hard to get something bad? In other words, how will playing hard to get do any good to you?

Well, keeping your partner on the bay for some time not only forces them to think too much about you but the uncertainty sometimes also works in your favor by moving their adrenaline up. It’s a well researched concept that, increase in the level of adrenaline is directly proportional to an increase in the level of attraction as well.

I am a believer of words — people don’t value things that are easily accessible to them. In all transparency, I personally believe playing a little hard to get is vital for attraction, and eventually a healthy relationship.

Playing hard to get is the perfect relationship strategy to not only get a little extra attention but also to catch up in advance if your date is willing to put in enough effort for you? If they really want to be with you? If they’re willing to walk that extra step for you?

It isn’t one of the most used strategies by people to get others romantically interested in their lives for no reason.

I know, the fact that you clicked on this article implies you weren’t exactly looking for a lecture on how playing hard to get is a good thing, but learn how to play hard to get and that’s exactly what we’re going to move forward to now.

How to play hard to get?

How to play hard to get
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels

The below mentioned points will give you a step by step answer to how to play hard to get? and at the same time not take it to an extreme end, as too much of anything only tends to backfire at us.

1. Keep it playful in the initial stage.

If you’re trying to learn how to play hard to get, you’ll have to keep in mind to not get too serious or clingy in the beginning. Prevent yourself from getting extremely involved and instead make sure to keep things a little playful.

The main purpose of playing hard to get is to make things a bit spicy between your crush and you, so that you both enjoy your time and have fun while you’re at it.

Keep the conversations easy and light, you can also make your conversations a bit flirtatious. Now whether your definition of flirting means being sensual or roasting the crap out of your partner, that’s up to you.

Just make sure you don’t take things too far or end up hurting the feelings of the other person.

2. Make yourself a priority in life.

photo of woman looking at the mirror how to play hard to get
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on

Self-prioritizing is one of the best things you can do while learning how to play hard to get. When you prioritize yourself in a relationship, you focus on self-improvement and you enhance the attractive side of your personality.

Am I being too selfish? Is it too self-centered for me to do so? Would I even be a likable person if I went down that road? These are a few examples of questions that prevent us from self prioritizing ourselves. But you need to understand, self prioritizing isn’t selfish, it’s self love.

It makes others around you realize that you have a life of your own and you cannot be available for them 24×7.

You do not have to be available for your partner all the time. As mentioned earlier, always prioritizing your partner and not paying heed to your own life reduces the value that you definitely should be getting from others around you.

You’ve got a life of your own, things that need to be done, places that you need to visit, friends that you need to stay connected to — make sure your partner knows it.

3. Personal space is important while playing hard to get.

You would want to spend every single minute with your crush, partner, or date in the beginning but you will also need to understand the concept of personal space for your partner’s sake.

When you spend some time apart from your partner, you understand the beauty and importance of your relationship and the value it has in your life.

The ultimate goal of playing hard to get is to make your partner value you more, to make them realize the feelings that they have for you. It’s a bitter truth that you cannot miss someone or realize their value if they are always around you and present there.

Therefore, when you master this element of your relationship, you are able to get the correct answer to how to play hard to get.

4. Open the door of your life but don’t let anyone and everyone walk in easily.

people relaxing at home
Photo by Jack Sparrow on

You need to choose wisely whom to let in through the doors of your life. Yes, you may give a free pass to a few chosen people i.e who are worth your time and patience but others need to give a valid reason for the doings that directly affect your being.

Curious about how to play hard to get? Well, before showing your partner the whole deck of cards, it’s preferable to take one at a time. Letting your guards down all at once can put you in the constraint of emotional and mental trauma if the choice goes wrong.

I know you’re here to learn how to play hard to get? But while we unwind the various steps to answer this question for you, you need to understand this concept at the very core — while you are trying well enough to attract them, you’ll have to be ready to pull back when the time demands so.

5. Build intimacy and sexual chemistry.

Intimacy and sexual chemistry are two factors that are bound to bring excitement in a relationship. While extreme sexual tension may make things worse, a playful intimacy has the potential to improve any relationship with time.

Want to know the secret behind how to play hard to get? Build up a moment of intimacy and playfully back off. You don’t necessarily have to indulge in any kind of physical activity if you don’t want to, as you can also create this intimacy by other means.

Physical intimacy is a very genuine emotion but making the other person work for it can create more excitement in general. You can tease your partner with physical intimacy but if you’re keen on playing hard to get, then make sure to make them sweat for it a little.

6. Make sure that your crush is putting appropriate effort.

unrecognizable man hiding bunch of red roses behind back before date with happy girlfriend how to play hard to get
Photo by Budgeron Bach on

Effort is one of the top aspects to determine if your relationship is going to be a successful one or not.

It’s important for both the partners to put equal efforts to make things work. But if you’re walking on a path of playing hard to get, then you’ve to make sure your partner is putting in a little bit more effort than you.

Putting effort doesn’t mean that your partner needs to be on his/her toes all the time. However, it means that he never fails to pay attention to you.

In this road of uncertainty, your partner may go through various vague feelings which can lead to them to lose interest in you or give up their efforts to please you or give up on the relationship as a whole. Therefore, in order to prevent them from having a burn out make sure that you put enough effort as well.

7. Don’t let the element of manipulation come between you.

You have to be very careful while learning how to play hard to get. While playing hard to get is something we encourage, there’s a thin line that differentiates it from emotional manipulation.

Manipulation, no matter what kind, is something that scatters the core of a relationship. Hence, It’s important to not get confused between these two different but adjoining concepts and let this negative energy overpower the understanding you have with your partner.

Playing hard to get already creates a lot of uncertainty in the mind of the other person and if you let manipulation take over even for a moment, it might end up complicating and even ruining your relationship.

8. Don’t take things to an extreme level.

a couple talking while arguing
Photo by Timur Weber on

When you’re done with this process, make sure to not make things complicated or extreme. You’ll have to keep in mind that the other person might get negatively affected by your actions and keep them up accordingly.

You have to ensure that all of this should be light-hearted and enjoyable for both of you.

Even before you think of how to play hard to get, know that it is a very subjective matter and depending upon the emotional and mental understanding of your partner it can have a positive or negative outcome.

While you play hard to get, your partner/crush has to understand your motive and play along.

Conclusion – How to play hard to get?

All of these steps will help you understand the concept of how to play hard to get in a relationship.

Everything in this world has two faces, one good and other bad. Playing hard to get is in no way any different. While I have labeled it as a good thing to keep things a little spicy between two people, it can stir some drama in your lives from time to time.

I mean, If you play too many tricks on your crush, it may result in getting them utterly confused due to your cold and hot behavior.

If your actions are too messed up then it makes the other person question your commitment towards the relationship and eventually complicates things for you in the future.

Truth be told, every human wants to be acknowledged, not confused. Therefore, in this spree to discover how to play hard to get, keep in mind to not cross the line and end up emitting toxic energy.

Keep things light, playful and positive for yourself as well as your partner.

Thank you for sticking with me till the very end.

Shopping Cart