As the name suggests, female-led relationship is steered by a woman as she is the calling the shots in the relationship.
Like most rules, patriarchal rules too are meant to be broken and when a woman is the dominant partner, it goes against everything our society is so used to.
The woman is ideally the one who makes crucial decisions in their relationship and day-to-day life, and the man simply agrees to it without any hesitation. Now it may seem a bit unorthodox but it in no way means that the man is undervalued or unappreciated.
The goal here is to take the societal pressures off a man and give the reins to a woman who can best manage important decisions. Whether it is making plans for dinner, special milestones, or taking responsibilities around the house.
In this article, we will explore how a female led relationship fares when the roles are reversed, and you can make a decision on whether or not you’d like to be in one yourself.
What is the Difference Between Female Led relationship and Male-Led Relationships?
Every relationship is different; from the rules to follow to sharing responsibilities. Before entering a committed union, it is better to know the dynamic that will work best for the two of you.
So, whether you’re a decision-maker or a follower, each individual has the ability to offer unique qualities to enrich a relationship. However, there are certain differences between a female led relationship and a male-led relationship as women are more :
- Compassionate than men and have a sense of empathy towards people in her life.
- Socially sensitive, recognize and process emotions better, and make better decisions.
- Open to sharing responsibilities around the house and with raising children.
- Intuitive and self-aware emotionally.
- Nurturing and can take better care of their families.
- Vocal about their feelings and what they expect from their partners.
- Persuasive when it comes to convincing others about their decisions.
10 Signs that You’re in a Female Led Relationship.
Majority of relationships are male-led as they are stronger than women and can easily dominate them physically, emotionally, mentally, and at times, financially.
However, the traditional roles have taken a shift in today’s time as more and more women are taking control of their lives.
If you’re unsure whether you’re in a female led relationship, then read the following signs to get a clearer picture.
1. Making Decisions on Your Own.
For most men, they are used to making decisions on their own without having to check in with someone. It can be anything from purchasing clothes, hanging out with friends, or living the way he prefers to.
In a female led relationship, he wouldn’t have the liberty to make plans and decisions on his own. In fact, he will have to get permission from his partner, no matter how small the matter is.
Basically, it’s been some time since you got to do anything for yourself without your partner’s approval. On the other hand, she gets to spend money and make plans on her own.
2. The Money is Controlled by Her.
Do you both have joint accounts? Does she make you give your entire salary to her and then give you an allowance every week or month?
If the answer to these questions is a “yes”, then you’re definitely in a female led relationship.
She feels that you can’t make sound monetary decisions and that is why she gets to keep control over the bank account. “How”, “what”, and “when” can the money be used is all up to her.
3. House Chores Are Your Responsibility.
Regardless of you being a stay-at-home parent/spouse or a working individual, all the house chores land your head. From buying groceries to doing laundry to cleaning the house and car, you are expected to manage it all on your own.
She might help out once in a while, but it is not expected of her to give you a hand anytime soon. You could be overloaded with office, kids, and chores, but are supposed to handle it by yourself.
4. The TV Remote is in Her Hands.
Every night, after you all are done with dinner and sit on the couch, guess who’s holding the tv remote? She picks which shows and movies you all can watch. She decides when it’s time to turn off the television.
It’s not like she doesn’t care about what you want to see, but her dominance in the relationship trumps all your desires.
5. Socializing is Kept to a Minimum.
When you’re out at a friend’s place or at a restaurant, she makes sure how many drinks you can have. Perhaps she will stop you from ordering a second or a third drink altogether.
And not just that, she tells you what to eat, how to dress, whom to talk to, and when it’s time to head home. Having this much control over a person’s life can bring huge issues later on.
6. She Decides Where You Stand in a Relationship.
She’s the one who asked you out on a date, steered the relationship how she saw fit, made sure when and how you proposed to her, and has made all the plans for the wedding too.
There is nothing wrong with dating a strong, confident woman; and most men like that in a woman. This helps them take the pressure off of them so that they can concentrate on other aspects of their lives.
7. You Always Apologize.
Well, this can be true for any couple; whether it is a female led relationship or a male-led relationship. Most men, in order to resolve issues or arguments, tend to say sorry even when it is not their fault.
If there is a way to avoid commotion in the house, they will make sure to seize the opportunity.
For them, life is a lot easier when their partner is happy and gets what she wants. There are less problems to deal with when the man bows down.
He gets to keep his sanity and enjoy a much happier time with his partner, kids, and friends.
8. You Attend All Her Family Events.
We all have family commitments. From birthday parties to graduation ceremonies to Easter, Fourth of July, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, spending quality time with the family is so important. But has it been just her family and not yours?
Are you expected to visit her side of the family more often and spend holidays with her? It does seem a bit extreme that you rarely get to be with your family.
Or perhaps she makes you go by yourself while she’s hanging out with hers. This division between whose family gets priority is definitely a dominating move.
9. No Social Media Presence for You.
In today’s world, most people meet or come across acquaintances through social media. It is the way our society has come to be as it’s convenient, private, and you don’t have to worry about meeting someone face-to-face.
But what happens when strange women start to contact you and it doesn’t sit well with your partner?
It is absolutely natural to feel threatened and hence, she has asked you to have no social media presence at all.
No more DMs, follow requests, or friends’ notification because your partner is the boss and what she says goes. Basically, she wants you to be a ghost on all social networking sites.
10. You Cannot Have Female Friends, Ever.
Keeping tabs on who you’re friends with and how much you interact with them is a boss move. In any female-led relationship, men are usually asked to keep their distance from other women.
Their partners see this woman, whether she’s an old friend, colleague, neighbor, or a local barista.
So, if you’re being asked to keep your distance from other women in your life, you have to make sure her words are heard and followed.
She will make sure that no woman is a threat to her and your relationship. If, for any reason, you have tried to confide in someone, make sure it is a male friend, and not a female friend.
13 Signs of a Female Led Relationship.
Female-led relationships can be incredibly rewarding for both partners involved. It relieves men from the pressure of various responsibilities, decision-making processes and other stressful situations that arise in the day to day life of the couple involved.
If you are considering entering into one, it is important to make sure that you are doing so with a full understanding of what it entails. These ten signs should give you a better idea of what you can expect from a female-led relationship.
1. Your partner is sexually dominant.
In a female-led relationship, the woman is usually the one who is in control of the sexual encounters. This means that she decides when and how often sex will happen.
She’ll focus on using positions of her choice, living out her fantasies. For some men, this can be a major turn-on, as they get to surrender control and let their partner take charge.
2. Your partner has the last word in all disagreements.
In a female-led relationship, it is not uncommon for the woman to have the final say in all disagreements.
This means that even if her partner disagrees with her, he will ultimately do as she says. While some men may find this to be frustrating, others see it as a way to let their partner take charge and avoid conflict.
3. She knows what she wants.
Women are confident, self-assured creatures who know what they want and communicate it clearly to their partners. These are the only types who can enter into a female-led relationship.
If a man fails to comply with the woman’s wishes, he’ll definitely get her wrath.
4. There may be less traditional gender roles when it comes to child caring in a female-led relationship.
In traditional marriage or relationships, all child-caring responsibilities fall upon women’s shoulders. But in a relationship led by female men may have to take most of the in-home responsibilities. Feeding, bathing, changing diapers, the list goes on.
5. She will set high life standards.
A woman who leads in her relationship is likely to have high standards for herself and for her partner. Meaning, that she expects the best from herself and from those she loves, so don’t be surprised if she pushes you to be your best self, too.
It can be anything from what kind of house you live in, its interior, wearing branded clothes, eating at high-end restaurants, etc.
6. She takes responsibility for her own happiness.
A woman who leads in her relationship understands that her happiness is ultimately up to her.
She doesn’t expect her partner to make her happy — instead, she takes responsibility for her own happiness and creates it in her life. This can be a very empowering way to live, and it can inspire you to do the same.
7. She sets the curfew.
In a female-led relationship, the woman typically sets the curfew. This means that she decides when you need to be home, when you can see your friends, and how late you can stay outside.
Basically, she has the final say in your comings and goings. The man may have input into decisions, but ultimately it is up to her to decide.
8. She decides what you will wear.
The woman often makes the clothing selections in a partnership where she is in charge.
In other words, she chooses your outfits (all of them) – what colors will suit you, which store to buy from, how often to buy, everything. Anyhow, most men don’t like shopping, so they should feel relieved they won’t have to spend hours in the mall.
9. She controls your access to electronic devices.
Your access to electronic gadgets is often restricted in a relationship where the woman is in charge. This implies that she sets the parameters for when you can use your phone, computer, or other electronics.
Though he might have some input, she ultimately has the last say. She can accept your suggestions if she thinks it’s right, otherwise, she won’t.
10. She is the primary breadwinner.
In a female-led relationship, the woman is typically the primary breadwinner. This means that she brings in the majority of the income for the household.
The man may contribute to the household finances, but ultimately it is up to the woman to make sure that the bills are paid and the home is maintained.
11. She decides when and if to have children.
In a female-led relationship, it is the woman who decides when and if to have children.
The man may have some input in this decision but ultimately she makes all reproductive choices for starting a family without any exception or condition set by him before they were married.
12. She has her own hobbies and interests.
In a female-led relationship, the woman typically has her own hobbies and interests.
The man is not always included in these activities and may not even be aware of them. The woman may also choose to pursue her hobbies and interests without the man present.
13. There’ll be a proper understanding between both parties.
It’s crucial to strike a balance even though limits in a female-led relationship can sometimes be quite clear. It’s critical that you both understand your respective positions with regard to the man’s balance because he still has a crucial function to perform in the relationship.
In any relationship, communication is essential. It’s crucial for the woman to support her guy in being independent and accepting responsibility for his role in the union.
This does not require you to pester him nonstop like he is your child’s mother. It concerns mutual respect.
Advantages and Disadvantages of Female Led Relationship.
Our society puts a lot of pressure on men to have it all figured out from an early age. At times, having to conform to unexpected standards can take a toll on any man, regardless of how strong he may be.
So, when a man relinquishes his so-called power to a woman, he leaves the traditional mindset behind and adopts a thrilling, freeing dynamic in a relationship.
But just as any partnership goes, it comes with its own set of ups and downs. Here are some of the advantages and disadvantages of a female-led relationship.
Advantages of female led relationship.
- The reversal of traditional gender roles gives women a chance to explore freedom, make decisions they seem fit, and bring about a positive change in their lives.
- Their relationship can become strong when they receive much-needed assistance from their partners; whether it is house chores, taking care of the kids, supporting her decisions, etc.
- Sharing the financial load between two people, and not just by the man, gives the couple freedom and choices for the future. They can save more and divide the expenses equally so that one person doesn’t feel burdened.
- The dominating trait of a woman can help her man get free from his vices. Any bad habits that may hamper a man from succeeding in life, can be removed by the help of his partner.
- When you define specific roles and expectations in a relationship, you eliminate any power struggles in the future. Each person is set in his or her own roles from the beginning so that no issues can break them up.
- The woman has the power to control each aspect of her relationship, leading to more freedom for herself and controlling aspects of her life that affect her personally.
Disadvantages of a female led relationship.
- People in their families, friends, co-workers, and neighbors may develop set ideologies about what kind of woman she might be. They may perceive gender role reversal as a negative connotation.
- There may not be many men out there who are ready to relinquish their dominance or masculinity to a woman. Calling the shots is what they know best, and that may be difficult for a woman to find easily.
- There may be a gap in communication if the rules are not defined from the very beginning. It can bring rifts in any relationship and may lead to an emotional, physical, mental, and financial discord.
- Your intimate relationship can hamper, if you’re not truly into a woman leading the way. How a man controls a woman in bed says a lot about their relationship. So, if he is letting her take the reins, he or others around may think he’s less of a man.
- If you’re the only couple in your group enjoying a female-led relationship, chances are you might get judged or looked down upon by other couples.
- A man may feel trapped in the relationship if his partner doesn’t take his wishes into account from time to time. Regardless of him wanting to let his partner lead, his emotions, wants, needs, and desires should also be met.
- There is a possibility of such a relationship to take a more physically active role. Power and freedom can, at times, go into someone’s head and lead a person down a scary path. Physical, mental, verbal, or financial abuse is very much a reality.
- A man, in order to please his partner, might alienate himself from the world. He may not stay in touch with his family members, friends, colleagues, and neighbors, just so he can keep the peace at home.
Regardless of which type of relationship you’re in, it will come with its own challenges, advantages, and disadvantages. It is up to you to create a sense of balance in it so that fewer issues are created.
Every individual is unique and perceives a relationship in his or her own way. What you can work on and expect is mutual admiration and respect, and be able to trust one another as it will sustain your relationship for a long time.
Thank you for reading.