Calling it quits in a relationship is a tough decision but what if your ex is pretending to be over you, but secretly is not?
When a romantic relationship ends, there are always two parties involved – the dumper and the dumpee. Either of them may be heartbroken after the end of their relationship and can find it difficult to move on.
Whether the end is an obvious and amicable decision or you never thought it was possible, separation from someone you have strong feelings for can be difficult to process.
But what happens if your ex, whether he or she may be the dumper or the dumpee, is pretending to be over you?
Does that change the situation in any way? Would you be willing to get your ex back because there are still feelings between the two of you? Or are you simply searching for answers about whether or not your ex is truly over you and has moved on with their life?
Whether or not their feelings are sincere, a little bit of clarity after the breakup will help you make a clean break and find the fresh start you’re searching for.
In this article, we will discover 10 most obvious signs your ex is pretending to be over you. On the very other side, is in fact, still very much invested in you and your life.
10 Tell-tale Signs Your Ex is Pretending to Be Over You.
Second-guessing your ex’s every move, body language, and behavior can take a toll on you.
This makes getting over a relationship and getting a closure for a fresh start much more difficult than it should be.
If your relationship has passed its expiration date and you wish to know how your ex truly feels, here are some signs your ex is pretending to be over you, make sure to be on the lookout for these signs.
1. They Keep Giving You Mixed Signals.
“Does he still love me?” “Is he only pretending to have feelings for me to keep me in his life?” These may be some of the common questions running through your mind right now.
There are certain men who are incapable of cutting the cord and have difficulty deciding whether or not they wish to stay in a relationship.
On one hand, he stays in touch, initiates conversations, or wants to know where you are at all times. On the other hand, he ghosts you for days or doesn’t even reply to your calls and messages.
This back and forth of emotions shows that he’s indecisive and not sure of his own feelings for you.
2. They Are Trying to Make You Jealous.
One of the oldest tricks in the dating book, jealousy is a tried and tested method that many are guilty of doing.
Once a relationship is “over”, the dumpee usually uses this trick to make the dumper feel sorry about breaking up with them in the first place.
They deliberately show that their life is a lot better now that you’re not in it or they have found someone new and are in love with them.
All these techniques to make the dumper jealous shows clear signs that your ex is pretending to be over you. They are using these excuses to instigate you and seek attention.
3. They “Forgot” a Few Things at Your Place.
If you were living together, breakups are that much harder to go through; and if it’s your ex who has moved out, chances are they have left one or two items behind just in case.
This gives your ex plenty of opportunities to show up at your doorstep in order to “collect” a few things they conveniently forgot.
Perhaps a few of their clothes, a pair of shoes, toothbrush, or even a plant. The fact that your ex is willing to use such an excuse to keep on visiting you again and again can be a sign that they still have feelings for you and are only pretending to be over you.
4. They Like Blaming You for the Breakup.
Whether ending the relationship was an amicable decision or one-sided, finding faults in each other will only prolong the inevitable. But it is natural to pick faults in order to make the ‘moving on’ process a little smoother, blaming someone 100% is never the answer.
Your ex might be blaming you for the breakup and wants to make you feel guilty or responsible for their negative feelings.
They want you to believe that you’re the one who gave up on the relationship instead of fighting for it and making it work somehow.
5. They Show You They are Extremely Happy Now.
This is somewhat similar to the jealousy tactic as here too; your ex wants to show you that their life is much better now after the relationship is over.
When you run into your ex at a party or bump into them at the movies, they seem to be incredibly happy and not have a care in the world.
There can be two reasons behind such a behavior – one, they have truly moved on from you or two, it is an elaborate act to make you feel sorry or question your decision of separating from one another.
Whatever the reason may be, there are surely some unresolved feelings in them which is making them want to show their extreme happiness.
6. They Are Always Angry with You.
Breakups have been known to stir up negative feelings in some people. Being resentful towards your ex can lead to a very messy situation in the long run. And the reason behind such behavior is their obvious pretense of being over you.
Staying angry about the breakup, using it to make you feel bad in front of others, or even being indifferent when you’ve been nothing but pleasant with them, are all signs of unresolved feelings.
Sometimes, your ex can also speak about you with others, mutual friends or colleagues, in an ill manner. Perhaps the only way to get over you is by badmouthing you in front of others.
7. They Have Improved Their Social Media Presence.
Is your ex popping up on your Instagram or Facebook feed more now? Does it seem forced or too over the top? These are clear signs that your ex is pretending to be over you, and in fact, isn’t by a long shot.
Your ex might go above and beyond to show you how much fun they’re having hanging out with friends, going to new places, and trying new things.
This deliberate attempt to appear cool is a trick to make you become jealous and miss them. Their intention is for you to see all the exciting social media posts & stories and make you doubt your decision.
8. They Are Using Mutual Friends as Spies.
When an ex is only pretending to be over you, chances are they will try to enlist your mutual friends in their plan.
Figuring out where you are at all times, who you’re mostly hanging out with, if you’re seeing someone new, are you happy or sad after the breakup–these unanswered questions can make your ex act out.
Of course, not all of your friends will enable them and give exact information about your current status. However, it will not stop your ex from wanting to keep tabs on you every second of every day.
9. They Keep Talking About the Past.
If you had an amicable breakup and are still friends with your ex, staying in touch with one another is as normal as sunshine during the day. But things can take an awkward turn if your ex wants to only discuss the past or reminisce about the good old days.
Sure, the relationship had some beautiful moments and you’ve made a lifetime of memories, but harboring those feelings now even after the breakup is unhealthy.
The past should just stay there, in the past, and you should stay in the clear rather than talking about it constantly and making a new friendship unbearable.
10. They Search for Ways to Keep in Touch with You
After the breakup, you have been crystal clear that you don’t want your ex in your life any longer. But somehow, this message is not acceptable for them and they keep looking for ways to stay in touch with you. This is an obvious sign that your ex is pretending to be over you.
They call you to ask about your day, ‘accidentally’ run into you on purpose, drop in unannounced at your work or at home, or even show up at your date.
These are all toxic behavior and can leave you frustrated and confused about your ex and their intentions.
5 Reasons Why Your Ex is Merely Pretending to Be Over You.
The heart is a mysterious thing that over-analyzes and reevaluates each and every little thing that has happened in a relationship. And when the heart and the mind don’t see eye-to-eye, it is best to have all the information in front of you in order to make the best decision for yourself.
By now you are aware of signs your ex is pretending to be over you, you must be curious to know the reason behind such behavior? We think we have the answer to this incessant question in your mind.
1. They Want to Get Back Together with You.
One of the most common reasons why your ex is pretending to be over you is because they want you back. I know it sounds like an oxymoron, but hear me out.
The more they pretend to be over you, the more they think you will find them attractive or want to take them back.
If they seem aloof or happier somehow, you will question the breakup and perhaps, want to give the relationship another shot.
You were such an integral part of their life and now, after the breakup, they are unsure what to do next or how to move forward. Some people are a creature of habit and like to keep the same routine and people around themselves.
2. They Are Feeling Lonely without You.
The feelings of loneliness can be devastating but the reluctance of your ex from leaving you alone is to make you feel guilty.
They can use emotional manipulation because they are feeling lonely now that you’re gone and the only way they can feel better is by having you back in their life.
Love or fond attachment is a funny thing that can make any person do unthinkable acts. And the reason behind your ex’s pretenses isn’t necessarily their true love but loneliness.
3. They Just Want to Be Physical with You.
When you have been intimate with someone in a relationship, there are times when you miss the act of love more than the person themself.
Your ex might be missing the physical attachment and the memorable moments you two have spent with each other. This can be one of the reasons why your ex is just not ready to move on and is only pretending to be over you.
4. They Are Not Sure Whether They Want You or Not.
Being indecisive can be frustrating; not just for you but both individuals. The constant doubts and second guessing your decision to end a relationship can take a toll on anyone.
So, when your ex is unsure and has absolutely no idea whether it’s better to stay apart or together, it can leave you frustrated and angry.
Their inability to make a decision should not give you sleepless nights or reservations in your mind. It is not your responsibility to cater to each and every whim of your ex.
5. They Are Bored and Want to Use You to Fill Some Time.
Call it boredom or your ex’s inability to move on from you, it is never okay for anyone to use someone else to fill their time.
You are not someone’s plaything or temporary requirement so they can feel better about themselves. It is highly disrespectful of your ex to take you for granted, when you were in a relationship or now that it has ended for good.
Conclusion : Signs Your ex is pretending to be over you.
When a relationship comes to an end, for many of us, it may seem like it is the end of the world. The feelings of self-doubt, anger, desperation, and loneliness can make you second-guess your every move and can make it tough to find balance in your life.
The main thing to remember is that you’re a strong person who can overcome any obstacle and find the right reasons to survive.
Whether your ex is still around or he’s trying to reenter your life, they cannot make any move without your consent. If you’re hoping your ex wishes to take you back, ask yourself if this is something you want and how you want to proceed.
Thank you for reading.